Relationships! Getting to the heart of organizational well-being & equity

by Rehana Tejpar

This year we’ve been honored to support over a dozen courageous organizations moving through equity centered transformation, seeking to build more organizational health and cultures of belonging.  Across the multiplicity of these organizational journeys,  we are learning time and time again - that the quality of our relationships with ourselves, with one another and with the communities we serve is at the heart of the work.  

In fact, it is the work.  

Whether we are trying to create more equity, dismantle systemic racism, move towards decoloniality, live more sustainably in the face of a climate crisis, or live a satisfying life - we are ultimately seeking to build healthier, more respectful and just relationships with other humans and our non-human relations.  Relationships are at the heart of our felt sense of connection and  belonging. They  build our capacity to engage in complex and vulnerable dialogue on equity, systems change and conflict. As we continue to navigate increasingly uncertain times, healthy relationships between changemakers provide the root system of support needed to endure change. 

With that in mind as 2021 comes to a close, we turn our attention to relationships: the power of healthy workplace relationships for personal and organizational well-being; why affirming relationships are important; and some strategies for building more trusting relationships at work.  

It is true that social bonds developed through relationships build safety, resilience, networks of support, and spark creative collaboration.  Research shows that the quality of workplace relationships is the number 1 determinant of job satisfaction, which is deeply connected to life satisfaction [1].  And yet, many people are working under intense pressure in low-resourced environments, where there is no perceived time or need to invest in building healthy relationships.  Instead, accessible toxic forms of connection emerge through negative  bonding and gossip.  We see burnout on the rise, stress and anxiety as a leading cause of ill health and absenteeism as direct consequences. Add to the mix the impacts of physical and psychological isolation from the pandemic, we have workplaces that are built from weak foundations for relational success.

These are wake up calls pointing to an urgent need to work towards greater societal wellbeing. While relationships are not the only solution, we believe that healthy relationships with ourselves and each other are the necessary foundation for personal and organizational well-being.  Research shows that prioritizing wellbeing has a positive effect across organizations, improving innovation, collaboration and social impact capacity - that is, wellbeing inspires well-doing [2]. 

What would change in our work if we truly cared for the quality of our relationships in the workplace? What would shift if we could listen to the wisdom of the Earth that teaches us that we are all fundamentally interconnected in this web of life? What if we could strive to embody the kind of relationships with ourselves and our colleagues that invite in more life, joy, mutual respect, trust and authenticity from our diverse perspectives?  

We believe it would change everything. 

A story of renewed hope 

We were invited to facilitate a conflict resolution process with a team that had been struggling to navigate an unhealthy team dynamic for decades.  At the root of the conflict was a lack of communication, trust and support within an organizational context saturated with structural silos and systemic racism. The issues were complex.  People were feeling jaded, tired and hopeless. The dynamic had existed for so long, the structural issues were deep and it seemed impossible to shift.

With an open mind and heart,  we curated a staggered process for conflict transformation. Centering relationships, we began with meeting the participants one on one and then brought the group together. As is our practice  we built the container for common ground, relationship and trust.  We shared the following  principles we bring as facilitators to the work: relationship as resolution, that this work requires engagement at the personal, interpersonal and systemic levels, and that it takes bravery and courage and a willingness to learn.  We co-created a set of intentions for how we wish to be with ourselves and each other during our time together.  We invited the team to consider that inequity has separated and divided us into relationships of privilege and oppression and that the work of equity is about coming back into equal, co-liberatory relationships so that we can all belong, thrive and be free.  

To begin cultivating new opportunities for relating, we practiced listening and storytelling in pairs, we shared tools of nonviolent communication - a philosophy and practice for authentic relating - and began to practice them. As we expected, it was awkward, tense and hard at first.  We spoke in a circle process, an Indigenous practice for deep listening and conflict transformation, to enable people to share their experiences one at a time, without interruption or commentary. And to actually enable listening. Interpersonal conflicts from the past began to surface and consenting pairs began to slow down, connect and have clarity, shedding some light of understanding into the places where conflict had them feeling stuck.  As people shared their experiences in past conflicts, expressing their feelings and needs and what they’d like to request from one another, the doors opened for deeper compassion and an opportunity to rebuild relationships and trust one conversation at a time. 

In the last session, we turned to the future by means of intentional questions: what actions were they willing to take together, how were they willing to do differently, to address the pillars holding up the conflict?  Their practical brilliance shone, and they could see clearly what behavioral changes they were willing to make in how they communicated and addressed conflict  to embody care for their relationships and ultimately, their shared work moving forward.  As we closed, people expressed a feeling of renewed hope and confidence in their capacity to work together to serve their clients, address racial justice and their own wellbeing in the process. 

Where this process seemingly “ended” was actually the beginning, as ultimately the deeper work of building healthy relationships is in continuing to embody behaviors that build trust, authenticity and connection, knowing we will make mistakes and need courageous commitment to try again. 

Research on the relationship between trust, belonging and organizational wellbeing

The wealth of literature on what makes a good workplace highlights two aspects: good work organization - that is, providing workers with the context, guidance, tools, and autonomy to minimize frustration and make their jobs meaningful—and psychological safety, which is the absence of interpersonal fear as a driver of employee behavior [3].   Psychological safety is a shared feeling and belief by members of a team that others on the team will not embarrass, reject, or punish you for speaking up [4].

A psychologically safe workplace begins with a feeling of belonging. Belonging speaks to the human need to feel connected to others, safe enough to be ourselves, accepted for who we are, including our unique attributes, culture, identities, and perspectives.  It includes our voice being included in decision-making that affects us, being afforded grace to learn and make mistakes, and the opportunity to voice dissent and challenge ideas.  Psychologically safe workplaces are built through relationships of mutual respect and trust. It is what allows the feeling of safety and belonging to exist.   

Research demonstrates that relationships of trust are a pillar of how organizations function, positively impacting collaboration, learning, communication, commitment, employee retention, and quality of work.  In an organizational environment with a high level of trust, people feel safer, employees build long-term relationships, and this strengthens cooperation [5].  In organizations with a high level of mutual trust, employees participate in decision-making processes, feel happy coming to work and are more creative in performing their tasks [6] .

Prioritizing the building of healthy relationships at work is fundamental to building organizations that are striving towards equity, diversity, inclusion, belonging, innovation, commitment and collaboration.  It is critical to our personal and organizational well-being and well-doing.

How then can we build more trusting relationships at work? 

1. Cultivate alignment and confidence in our own leadership

Being in right relationship with ourselves is important to building healthy, aligned and trusting relationships with others. Being in tune with our inner sense of knowing, recognizing the value of our perspectives, and being clear with our yeses and nos is key to us stepping into our leadership. Practicing self care, and challenging limiting beliefs that may make us feel small, or that our contributions don’t matter is fundamental to building confidence to include our own voices in the equation. It is an expression of self love to speak our truth, even when it doesn’t align with others.  Being present with ourselves, in whatever way it may look - mindfulness, journaling, taking a walk, a break, exercise, healthy eating, reaching out for support, asking for what we need  - are ways of connecting with our innate inner wisdom - a unique and valid perspective that benefits the whole.  Practicing self-awareness and self-compassion, supports us in being able to continually learn and hold ourselves accountable with grace, which supports building trust with ourselves and others. 

2. Create the conditions for authentic dialogue & multiple truths

Making time and space for building relationships supports organizational health. Doing check-ins at the beginning of meetings to allow people to share, take off a mask and be witnessed cultivates relationships of trust and the conditions for including the non-dominant voices in the room. Small group conversations and the Going Horizontal Listening Game are great tools for relationship building.  Listening to understand vs listening to be right creates space for people to share authentically.  Being humble enough to know that our truth is one of many, and being curious and compassionate in understanding different perspectives is at the heart of building healthy relationships with others.  When we model care & vulnerability, especially as leaders, we create space for others to do the same, building our capacity to be in nuanced, complex dialogues on equity, power sharing, and shared decision-making.  Building an encouraging and appreciative work culture invites people to shine. Hosting dialogue with psychological safety in mind, where we can explore questions and express agreement as well as dissent invites the collective wisdom in the room to come forth while building deeper relationships of trust and respect in the process. 

3.Shared and Servant Leadership and Empowered Teams

Shared and servant leadership shape the emergence of a visionary organizational vision, by listening to diverse perspectives and working collaboratively with teams to bring it to life.  These leaders empower people within the organization to take leadership and cultivate a culture of learning.  This approach which departs from traditional leadership asks us to be humble, curious and adaptive. It also invites leaders to communicate transparently and clearly the decision-making parameters, making the implicit, explicit on who will have a final say and what sphere of influence people have.  Knowing that we alone don't have all the answers and could benefit from including a diversity of perspectives in decision-making goes a long way in both stewarding better solutions & building shared ownership.

4. Relationships across difference in justice, equity, diversity and inclusion (JEDI)

We believe there is a great need to be in spaces that build relationships and dialogue across differences.  Where people from different identities - race, gender, sexuality, ability, spirituality, political view and perspective, etc. can practice sharing power and be seen with nuance and wholeness beyond single identities.  We hold deep appreciation for these spaces, and the careful facilitation, container building and collective space holding that goes into creating them. With intentionality and care, they can be generative spaces of co-learning, bridge-building, and offer opportunity to heal divides between peoples.  If colonization has separated us, then the work of our times is the work of re-building our relationships. Holding spaces to explore equity across identities rests on the belief that no one group has all the answers to systemic injustices, and that our individual liberation is wound up by our collective liberation.  

We recognize the importance of caucusing work with affinity groups based on identity, and recommend this approach at times as well.  Whatever approach serves our group’s moment, when we center relationships in JEDI work, and are committed to our mutual humanity, liberation and thriving, people show up with more capacity to feel safe, be vulnerable, commit and do the work earnestly.  The strength and diversity of the connections we build in JEDI work are the mycelial networks that enable changemakers to build new systems and endure change.  

Closing

Human beings are wired for relationship, from the womb to the grave, we are entangled in a web of relations. As organizations evolve and embrace the need for systems change, placing attention on the work of righting relations with ourselves and one another invites us into deeper attunement with love, a consciousness at the heart of our humanity & wellbeing.  Each of us deserves to feel a sense of belonging on this planet, and that is not currently the case. May we do our best to lead with an open heart, for all our relations present and into the future.  

References:

1. McKinsey & Company. The boss factor: Making the world a better place through workplace relationships. Sept 2021.

2. The Wellbeing Project. The Centered Self. https://wellbeing-project.org/centered-self/

3. McKinsey & Company. The boss factor: Making the world a better place through workplace relationships. Sept 2021.

4. What is psychological safety at work? Center for Creative Leadership. Aug. 2020. https://www.ccl.org/articles/leading-effectively-articles/what-is-psychological-safety-at-work/

5. Hansen, S.D.; Dunford, B.B.; Alge, B.J.; Jackson, C.L. “Corporate Social Responsibility, Ethical Leadership, and Trust Propensity: A Multi-Experience Model of Perceived Ethical Climate.” J. Bus. Ethic. 2015, 137, 649–662.

6. Bulińska-Stangrecka, Bangieńska, Anna. “The Role of Employee Relations in Shaping Job Satisfaction as an Element Promoting Positive Mental Health at Work in the Era of COVID-19.” International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health. 2021